I’ve read in an article that people who use Facebook, but also Instagram are prone to suffer from depression and a low self esteem easily. It’s because of the apparent unrealistic portrayal of a fake perfect life a lot of social influencers, celebrities but also regular people try to show the world via hash tags. I disagree completely. Why would we have to post our sad moments? Why do we feel the need to have a constant reminder to our pain? To what has left us/has been taken from us, what has us been denied and what will potentially never come to be. The mere thought of it already stirs some nausea to me.
So that’s what we have to do. We have to keep reminding ourselves of what’s good, our achievements and the things we have to look forward to. That’s why I wanted a picture of sweets and delights to be today’s post cover. I want to remind myself of the good things that were, are now and will come.
The dating series I wrote have garnered a lot of attention from unexpected corners all around the world. I feel lucky to be heard and I am so grateful for the support that was given to me.
Lately I have been very busy with school, admissions into transferring to another school and all kinds of stuff that caused me to neglect my blog and other social media. Because it’s tiring. I do want to put out decent content and I feel relieved that there’s finally some spare time for me in which I can release and produce that content.
I’ve pretty much said that I’ve given up on the dating aspects of life. I didn’t see any merits to it anymore, I felt it was biased towards Asian men in general and I felt it was so competitive, fake and lackluster that I came close to actually deleting my Tinder and Coffee Meets Bagel account, which is something I usually won’t do. The gender stereotyping of boys needing to pay for every date in conjunction with being loudmouth assholes who demand sex on the first date, is something I didn’t want to become and certainly not something I’d even tried doing just to see whether I could “score”.
Then something interesting happened. Fate is against me so I’d just call it the odds. For my usual hair treatment and re coloring I’ve been told to cut my hair shorter than usual and ended up not having the bangs I would’ve wanted. I was sad about this, bout not having my signature hairstyle, then I resolved to just “wing it”, just comb it back, wax it and have it like a slick smooth person. Interestingly when I changed my hairstyle and my look to be more (fuck) boyish, I gained more attention and looks from other people around me. Something which was to be expected but still caught me off guard.
It was not long after that, that I got a match on CMB. We talked, we exchanged numbers but this girl was probably matching whoever she could get just in order to see whether it’d lead to anything. Nothing wrong with that. I’d match the majority of the people on CMB through my standardized search filter if I weren’t so picky. But based on my longer hair, the bangs, the “weirder” colors and the probably more prominent featured make up, I could tell she was probably turned off or at the very least, not as much interested as I had correctly predicted. But then as I mentioned, a new metamorphosis occurred and the moment I exchanged whatsapp details with her, the whole experience got better; nicer and interesting. I was not that weird hair colored make up “fag drag” apparently but I was just a pretty boy.
Now unlike the other dates or my horrible ex which I sadly dedicated a few chapters to, this girl is really kind, friendly, a bit shy but dares more when I’m around and absolutely still doesn’t show any signs of weirdness or red flags. I was more than happy to ask her out officially last Tuesday and confirm her as my girlfriend. Hopefully she’ll make me happy and I make her happy too and that we may last a long time together. Funny how life works sometimes. I will always watch my back but maybe now since I have some grip on life, I’d best lean back a bit and enjoy the ride.