The reason why I wrote this blog is so that I can share the unsalted, non-sugar coated stories of harsh dating life, how double standards come into effect and how the legacy of feminism and female emancipation is reduced to letting the guy pay for every meal, outing and gift. There were times where I wrote chapters of this specific series out of sadness, times where I wrote it out of bitterness but there is definitely no doubt that all these chapters were written with the heart and pure intention to inform, to provide a platform for discussion and dialogue and not to upset, stir a controversy or publish an attention hogging sad story.
With that said I look back at the past year and I can say honestly I’m not pleased with myself. Aside from my propaedeutic diploma/certificate, I wouldn’t exactly count myself super lucky, nor rewarded for anything the past year. Hard work doesn’t have a specific set of tasks to be completed in order for you to cash out your reward, I know but it would’ve been easier had I gotten some sort of signal or at the very least the crumbs of sweet succes.
I’ve entered two relationships that miserably failed, although the lastest one ended on a somewhat “nicer” note than expected. I’ve been talking to many girls, trying to initiate dates, went on those dates and forced myself to even love at some point out of loneliness. The torment and pain that came out of these experiences are indescribable, they are scars that I carry and remember every day but I am confident that they’ll heal over time. Over a long period of time though.
For I am a porcelain doll, I’ve given love but I’ve been mistreated and so I’ve cracked as a result of that.
I written make-up & skin care reviews out of passion too on this blog but I still keep finding myself coming back to the same old series! The lifestyle, dating and experiences series that is the Date A Live series.
I’ve seen people I love(d) and hate(d) gain success, improve their lives while I lurk in the shadows and gaze silently upon their ever growing happiness. To say that the past year has been entirely bad is an outright lie. To say it’s somewhat okay, is sugar coating the damn year. But I will say that I have taken note of the experiences, I have learned from them and it has not inspired me but threatened me to seek a better existence, to pursue a meaningful life. The experiences I had are the damned scars spread over my body physically as reminders from my exes and the close contact we had but also mentally for almost the same reasons but what my exes said to me instead.
Every individual deserves to be treated with a basic sense of respect and good manners and whatever girl who comes into my life won’t get anything less. That doesn’t however prevent me from stepping aside from my usual lightning speed method and just become friends or gradually take it a notch up by going at a snail speed.
This year has not only been a romantic disaster for myself but also for a close friend and relative. It’s not my place to discuss their stories here but I will mention that throughout the entirety of their problematic arcs, I have done my best to counsel them and provide them with the advices I wish an older sibling or somebody with a bit more time and experience had told me. To them I’ll say I’ll stand at your side and while a battle has been lost, the game isn’t over. You’ll get there because I will be there to guide you too.
So it is with a somewhat long winded bittersweet message actually that I wish to say that I’m grateful for the followers I have, the readers who take the time to read my blog and give me the likes that just really push me into the continuation of this series as well as this blog. I thank you. I hope there will be days to come where the stories will be more uplifting.
Let’s hope the cracking stops for now before I truly shatter, become dust and be gone with the wind.